It has been a full year since I graduated university. I have moved out of my parent’s house (to the other side of the world!) and am living in a foreign country on my own, paying my own bills, getting my car serviced like most adults, cooking for myself, budgeting (or trying, anyway), and being independent like most adults can.
Yet it didn’t actually hit me until the other day, when I was Skyping with my mum, and she was talking about her and my dad’s plan to move house soon (as when my youngest sister moves to university the house that used to hold all 5 of us will be too big for just the 2 of them). And she mentioned that most of the houses she’s been looking at have two rooms they can use as guest bedrooms.
And that’s when the word hit me: guest bedrooms. Not “Laura’s bedroom” or “your bedroom”. In essence, when I go back for events like Christmas, the room I stay in won’t be mine any longer. It will be a room I’ve never seen before, let alone stayed in. (If I even get a room, who knows how the 3 of us will split 2 bedrooms without some serious fighting…).
And that, that small, tiny word, was what made me realise that I am becoming (or have become) a bonafide adult. I won’t have my own room at my parent’s house anymore, and that – for me – cemented the fact that I don’t rely on my parents anymore, that I am making my own way in the world and am supporting myself with my own housing. I mean, of course, if my life goes tits up and I have nowhere else to stay I’ll be able to stay at theirs, but it still won’t be my room, I’ll be staying in a guest room until I get back on my feet, no matter what my parents say.
Being an adult is terrifying, and although I’m doing okay, there are still days when I wonder how the hell I got this far, and if I really am ready to shoulder the responsibilities and burdens of adulthood. I mean, I can’t turn back the clock now anyway, and some days wish I was still a 7 year old without any worries in the world but for being able to do fun things with my friends, and I am – if not happy – then content with life, but there are those moments when you wonder.
Still, I guess I will just wait and see, and keep on keeping on.